And so I lived up to all expectations.

Last week I really was not here. I would like to have the perfect excuse but there is never a perfect excuse and I'm tired of them. I was not here. I slept all day. I cried at some point in the night and I think I woke up beside a radiator again. I would love to be able to tell you what happened but as usual I don't really know. The only reason I ever make it into uni is because my brother picks me up in the morning. That gives me a reason to get up in the morning. I would be better off with a full time job. I have never had a problem getting up and going to work. I guess there is more purpose to it. I am expected to be at my job at the time  my shift starts. I will be missed and sort after if I do not turn up. I am not expected to turn up to uni, in fact I am expected not to turn up to uni. I am not expected to turn up to crit's and exhibitions. I am expected to be late for tutorials. No one will react any different if I live up to my expectations and do not turn up. If I am not here as I never really am, i am not missed or sort after. I imagine it is a relief when I do live up to expectations and stay at home.
So that's what I'm doing living up to all expectations. I am not here. I never really am.

I feel sad that I missed out on a chance to see what everyone's been up to, but I would only have offended had I been there as I would have certainly fallen asleep continuously throughout. That would have only been another expectation to live up to I suppose.